


Kirk Is His Human Half

by kelex



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 04:47:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelex/pseuds/kelex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock contemplates Kirk's greatest fears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kirk Is His Human Half

**Author's Note:**

> set after "And The Children Shall Lead", with brief references to "Journey to Babel"

Had Spock been Human, he might perhaps have been offended that Jim's greatest fear had been losing not him, but the _Enterprise_. However, his Vulcan logic told him that such feelings were irrational; it was Jim's ability to command that elicited Spock's continued loyalty on the bridge. Off the bridge, it was Jim's loyalty to his friends that elicited the feeling in return. 

Spock chose not to contemplate his own greatest fears; as a half-Human, of course he had them, but as a Vulcan, he at the least refused to show them, if not dispel them entirely. Instead, he steepled his fingers contemplatively in front of him as he studied his fingertips. The flickering of the firepot lent a warm glow to the room and a thick heat that reminded him of his home world. 

He had nearly let himself slip from contemplation into meditation when the soft whine of the communications console intruded on his calm thoughts. "Mr. Spock, there is a message for you from Vulcan." The night shift communications officer had a soft, masculine voice that was no intrusion to his thoughts. 

"Thank you, Lieutenant," Spock answered, rising from his seat on the floor to allow the ship's computer to scan his retina, and then accepted the message to his console. It was nothing of major importance; a letter from his mother, detailing how Sarek was continuing his recovery, thanks to Dr. McCoy's surgery, and that the Vulcan Medical Academy was beginning to gather T-negative donors, as well as donors of other rare blood types. So that should a situation like Sarek's occur on or off-world again, any Vulcan in need of rare blood would have at least several units. 

All very fascinating, and very mundane. Precisely the type of communication he would expect from his mother--full of news from home and soft inquiries about how he was feeling and doing, but his father's subtle reserve was visible between the lines, even as his silhouette was visible in the background, moving around their quiet home as Amanda recorded her message to her son. Present but not active, reminding Spock of the love he felt from both his parents. 

Perhaps, Spock reflected, he was not so much unlike his father after all. Close association with Amanda for all the years they had been together had given Sarek an irreverent sense of humor, and it was one Spock found himself sharing the older he grew. He also realized that his mother's influence on his father had given Sarek the capacity to feel great emotion, and despite the forbidden expression of it he knew Sarek still found ways to do so. 

Much as Spock felt James Kirk had unduly influenced him; his association with Jim had given him the capacity to understand, and express, the Human side that he fought so hard to repress most days. Seeing Jim afraid, terrified of losing command of his ship, terrified of losing even the *ability* to command stirred empathy in Spock, more than he thought he was capable of. There was anger, too, deeply veiled, at the ghost-like creature that had controlled the children and subjected Jim *to* that fear. 

Private concern for Jim, and his ability to command, is what had moved him to steer the captain off the bridge when the children had influenced him. Once the bridge crew had seen Jim break, they would never be able to follow him the same way. Jim needed to present a strong face, a strong back, and an unbroken will to command the four hundred plus lives that depended on him every day. 

And, Spock realized, as his door chime gently sounded, was that Jim needed Spock just as much. 

"Come."

The End


End file.
